Life Vent

I am pretty sure I've had the worst week, ever. Lets start from the beginning... Last Saturday Firas' sister asked us to babysit. Of course we said yes, it's always fun spending time with our niece. As we come to find out, she is sick. She goes to daycare and children that go to daycare are little Petri dishes filled with disease. No joke. So we babysat and everything went fine. By Monday things were still fine, just feeling tired as usual. Then Tuesday comes around... I am sick. My body aches, head hurts, ears hurt, throat hurts, the whole nine. By Wednesday I started to feel just a smidge better. So exciting, I was getting better already! And now it's Thursday and my sickness is worse. I feel like shit but on top of it my face is congested. My sinuses are killing me. This continues through the weekend. Where I don't want to do anything, just sleep in my bed. Eating is terrible. I start to get a cough, even better. My mucus is green and also comes out of my eyeballs. I do a sinus rinse last night in hopes of some relief. Well my sinuses aren't that congested anymore BUT now I have the worst toothache of my life. I googled it and its caused by my inflamed sinuses. WTF?! WHY?! Why did we ever agree to babysit?!

This entire last week has been the worst. Jesus. I never want to babysit again. 

Vent over. 

Fly me to the moon

Since the rest of my blog posts have been written from my lovely iPhone, I think its time to actually sit down on a computer and write something without weird wording and grammatical errors. Haha. There are different types of things in my life that I value very much. It starts with my Grandparents story. My Grandpa on my dad's side served in the Navy for over 30 years. During this time he met my Grandma in Okinawa Japan, got married, got pregnant and eventually brought her and my dad to the United States. Once they moved here; like any other military family they moved constantly. California, Texas, Hawaii, Florida. During this time, my Grandma was a stay and home mom and housewife. Took care of the cooking, cleaning, yard work and the children. She also took pastry and painting classes to improve her skills. In Texas is where she met some of her most valuable neighbors. These neighbors turned into friends. Such good friends that they still talk to this day and she is coming to visit at the end of June. After over 30 years, many moves and life changes... they still talk. Its those types of relationships that remind me what life is all about. The connections that we have with people who mean most. I look up to my Grandparents more than anyone else. They have been married almost 50 years and still tell each other how much they love each other daily. Its that type of marriage that blossomed in the late 1950's that have the solid fundamentals of a successful relationship. There is no such thing as divorce. Fights are always resolved with communication and compromise. It's the simple life. This is why I know Firas and I are in it for the long run, because we have the same view on the important things in our lives. We want to live in simply. Always keeping in mind what is most important to us. <3 We have our first meeting with a potential client and we are seriously crossing our fingers because it would be incredible to secure our first one! A lot of time and effort has all lead to this.

Talk shit, get hit... Motherfucker

Drama is not my thing. Never really was and probably never will be. Sure, my favorite shows include Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Teen Mom 2 but I don't like drama in my real life. Unfortunately humans are... Human. Like Robert McNamara said, you can't change human nature. People are interested in other people's lives naturally and sometimes that's good and sometimes that's bad.

When it really comes down to it, I am so thankful for the people around me. They remind me to love and appreciate humanity even if they are a real piece of shit.

People are going to talk about you continually and there isn't really anything you can do about it. It's probably because they are envious of the beautiful things you have in your life. It is what it is.

Peaks and lows

It's the beginning of April and what a beautiful couple of days it's been! I am so thankful for the sunshine. It just adds to the excitement of our business. We sent out 100 marketing postcards last week and we hope to meet with at least one. Our office is almost complete minus a corner couch. We're on the exact path we were always supposed to be on. Working with my best friend/boyfriend is such a gift. I enjoy every minute!

I'm going to real talk for a bit. My life literally peaked on my birthday in September. Everything was going so perfectly. I was able to pay all of my debt off, quit working full time and party like a rock star on my actual birthday. Then everything started to change. Firas' uncle came from Syria, took over our room, our basement and was supposed to be here for 2 months... They're still here. It's just caused many problems in general that we can't really change. Also during the winter was when I had my first panic attack. It was the most horrible experience ever. I never ever want to feel that way again. It's so overwhelming and debilitating. It's taken a few months but I've finally rid of the lingering anxiousness. Thank god. Seriously.

I am finally at the point where I'm feeling really happy and optimistic again. Excited for life and everything we have planned. It's taken this long and it's just going to get better. I feel like the winter weather also had something to do with it. The continuous gloom and darkness really gets to me. We're hoping by next winter we will be able to live somewhere sunny for a few months.

Make way for a positive day.

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Spring is almost here and so many things have changed in literally the last 3 days. Our dearest Tommy passed away on Monday. I was in Arizona visiting my Oma when Firas called me on Saturday and told me that Tommy looked sick. Of course I told him to take Tommy to the vet. They ran blood work and did x-rays, the vet said Tommy had a mass in his chest and it was probably cancer. That was a lot to take in while being away by itself. During my layover in LA, I walked my fatass to In-n-Out. While I was there Firas text me saying 'where should I take Tommy?' I automatically knew something was wrong. I called him with no answer. I finally talked to him right as the plane was about to take off for a minute, I knew Tommy had passed without Firas having to say anything. Everyone is still devastated. Anyone who knew Tommy knew how amazing of a dog he was. He was such a sweetheart and loved everybody. He used to be quite hefty in his younger years and he lost a ton of weight. He ate chapsticks that were left unattended as well a entire stuffed animals. He loved any type of food. He also loved Leo like a little baby brother. We could take Tommy anywhere because he was so good. Everyone is going to miss you so much. You can never be replaced. We know you're in a better place filled with Big Macs and chapsticks. We'll see you again Tommy, I promise.

Favorite parts of life

Back in 10th grade I watched a movie called The Fog of War. It was basically a documentary about Robert McNamara; who was the Secretary of Defense when Kennedy was in office. It sort of tells this story about the 1960's and the political feel during this time as well as the current war situation. He lists off his 11 life lessons which I have been absolutely obsessed with:

1. Empathize with your enemy
2. Rationality will not save us
3. There's something beyond one's self
4. Maximize efficiency
5. Proportionality should be a guideline in war
6. Get the data
7. Belief and seeing are often both wrong
8. Be prepared to re-examine your reasoning
9. In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil
10. Never say never
11. You can't change human nature

He elaborates on each of these life lessons during the movie and as me being a realist, I cannot agree more with him. There is something so genuine about him and the way his thought process works. I think I like him so much because he's so old school, just like my very own grandpa.

While I would love to get all of these tatted on me; I do not have enough skin space to also stay classy. So for now I try to make decisions by them.

Hooray for awesome documentaries and people like this who used to help run our now failing country.

Virus

Tuesday was a normal day until around 10 pm; I started puking and just never stopped. By 11 am the next day, I was in the hospital. I am so very thankful for intravenous fluids (even though I was a shit show during the IV process), modern medicine and nurses with a ton of patience. Being sick really blows. I fall behind on everything I am supposed to be doing during the week. Regardless, viruses are horrendous. End of rant.

Other things I am thankful for this week: fleece owl pajamas, running hot water on demand and my loving best friend/bf. I take care of Firas 95% of the time. Cooking, cleaning and all that good stuff that I love to do for him, real talk. But being taken care of is quite enjoyable as well. He is really going to be an amazing husband and father some day.

Sometimes I get frustrated because I am an 'instant gratification' type of person, but we all must remember that good things come in time. Not everything is instant and hard work is also necessary. Being spoiled and never told no as a child catches up to me sometimes in these situations. I expect money to grow on trees and things to appear out of thin air. But like with everything else, it's a learning experience. Life is the most magical experience ever.