Alone

As much as I genuinely enjoy spending time with my family, Firas and dear friends, I love alone time. Once in a blue moon when I'm just at home by myself, I will use this time to really re-connect with myself. Come back down to the ground. Along with loving who I have become as a person, I love exploring my feelings. I'll usually run myself a bath and really reflect. Remember all of the good things I am fortunate to experience in my life and smile. I feel like once I regenerate my conscious, I literally radiate positive vibes. It feels amazing. Everyone should remember who is most important in their life and appreciate them. Whether its yourself or someone else, make sure to tell them how much of an impact they have on your life. It's all that really matters.

Classy, gracious & proper

Let's start off with the fact that I am no prude... I mean, I've put up with Firas' dick jokes and typical guy humor this long. ;)

Buuuuut, I do not like this generation. This #yolo, sexting, crazy group of kids. Girls now days lack class. They are far from gracious and I doubt they know anything about being proper. I don't know if its my upbringing with 1 Japanese & 1 German grandma, but they taught me the traditional things. Simple manners and ways to handle situations with grace. I always love to watch Mad Men because of Betty Draper. She is my definition of a good wife-- minus all the infidelity from both sides. I'm no doormat but I also never talk down to Firas.

Being around girls who talk down to their significant other seems to bother me. I'm not trying to be sexist but I do not think its a woman's place to speak to a man that way. Okay fine, that sounded really sexist.

I stumbled upon the movie Stepford Wives last night on Netflix and decided to watch it while I did cardio at the gym. I love the Stepford community. The movie is sort of a parody of the way it used to be and I can see where it's coming from. But at the same time, the husband just wanted a normal life where his wife was home more often and was happy. With her working for a big network all the time, she had no time for her husband, kids or home. I doubt they ever ate a home cooked meal or enjoyed a Sunday relaxing.

I guess I just wish that being a stay at home wife was more acceptable these days.

Autumn

Autumn is yes... My favorite season! It has always marked a time for change. Whether its school starting, trees turning orange or the cool air; it never ceases to give me butterflies. Growing up, I was never a fan of change. My house that I have spent my entire life in, is very retro. It was up until last year that we finally got rid of the hideous 1970's microwave and opted for a new shiny Kenmore. I was always very used to everything around me and that gave me comfort. Knowing that I can always come back home and everything will be exactly the same. But I recently started to embrace change. It wasn't embracing change in material things but the change in me. I am finally growing into the person that I have always wanted to be. I used to see girls that were comfortable with who they were and I would turn green with envy. I didn't understand how it was possible. But I've finally gotten here. And I'm thrilled. I'm not afraid of people looking at me. I'm not afraid to talk to strangers. Because we're all in this together.

On to other full Autumn festivities. I've already gone bananas at Bath & Body Works, from Creamy Pumpkin to Autumn Day... I bought it all. Fall is also one of the best times for Salmon fishing. My dad is an avid fisherman so now is the time to tag along. I enjoy heading down to the Green River with my dad and Firas to catch some pinks. Its definitely one of my favorite things to do.

We might as well address my music situation while we're at Autumn festivities. I like different kinds of music; from Psych Folk to Proto Electro Punk Art Noise. My absolute go to band for Autumn is Mellowdrone. 'Box' and 'Angry Bear' are the 2 albums I listen to continually while sipping on my pumpkin spice white mocha.

Let's begin again

Ever since blogging became cool, I've blogged on and off. From Xanga to Tumblr and everything in between. I've wrote blogs where I've censored my thoughts and thought I was writing to a specific audience, I've wrote blogs where when I looked back, I didn't even know who was writing it. But now, it's time.

Over the last couple of months, something in my life has shifted. I am unsure of exactly what it might be but I am a new person today. I started feeling so blessed, so happy and so grateful for everything in my life. The first time it happened, I was driving home on 405 and it was overwhelming. For the past 23 years, I was always unsure of who I was. I was always lost, intimidated by other people and had little self worth. I finally can see clearly.

Life in general is amazing, seriously. The simple fact that we are alive is something so incredible. I feel like a large majority of people in America get caught up in the things that do not matter but unfortunately money, power and sex wins. But when all of that fades away, what really matters? I find that I value family and the connections I have with people the most. My concept of a happy life has shifted to a simple one. I enjoy new experiences and the simplicity of it all. Almost like my grandparent's generation where the highlight of the week was getting ice cream as a family. Women stayed home to take care of the house and the children and men supported this idea. Don't get me wrong, women who want to be CEO's of big companies and bring in a paycheck... more power to you. I just have a traditional viewpoint.

I am just a very lucky girl; I have a fabulous family life, an amazing best friend/boyfriend combo and I have great people around me. I also feel so blessed because I was able to realize what really matters in my life. I look forward to life everyday.

Until next time...