Deathly afraid of death

Lets start off from the beginning. My parents are divorced. I chose to live with my dad since he was always there for my brother and I growing up. He's literally the best father in the world. My mom, well that's another story. Regardless, I am very close to all of my grandparents. My dad's parents basically raised my brother and I while my dad worked. My mom's parents also live right behind us, so we saw them continually. To this day, I see all of my grandparents multiple times a week. I give my Japanese grandma weekly manicures and train my Oma at the gym. This is the life I love. Most people have a group of friends they hang out with but I hang with the OGs. I have a few friends that I've known for years that I consider family but that's pretty much it. I don't miss people my age. There is so much to learn from our elders, so much joy we can give them and so much love between family. I am unsure how I will ever handle losing a loved one. I have never had to deal with it before. Many people come to the conclusion that they are in a better place-- which is probably true. Heaven and hell are not exactly real places to me. I was not raised religiously so I have an open mind. Death isn't something we should be afraid of. It's a natural process that happens to every living thing. Even at that, I am having the hardest time wrapping my head around it.

This week:

Pumpkin patch, Salmon fishing, Sounders game and my dear lover Kenna comes home for a few days. I cannot wait. :)