Favorite parts of life

Back in 10th grade I watched a movie called The Fog of War. It was basically a documentary about Robert McNamara; who was the Secretary of Defense when Kennedy was in office. It sort of tells this story about the 1960's and the political feel during this time as well as the current war situation. He lists off his 11 life lessons which I have been absolutely obsessed with:

1. Empathize with your enemy
2. Rationality will not save us
3. There's something beyond one's self
4. Maximize efficiency
5. Proportionality should be a guideline in war
6. Get the data
7. Belief and seeing are often both wrong
8. Be prepared to re-examine your reasoning
9. In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil
10. Never say never
11. You can't change human nature

He elaborates on each of these life lessons during the movie and as me being a realist, I cannot agree more with him. There is something so genuine about him and the way his thought process works. I think I like him so much because he's so old school, just like my very own grandpa.

While I would love to get all of these tatted on me; I do not have enough skin space to also stay classy. So for now I try to make decisions by them.

Hooray for awesome documentaries and people like this who used to help run our now failing country.

Virus

Tuesday was a normal day until around 10 pm; I started puking and just never stopped. By 11 am the next day, I was in the hospital. I am so very thankful for intravenous fluids (even though I was a shit show during the IV process), modern medicine and nurses with a ton of patience. Being sick really blows. I fall behind on everything I am supposed to be doing during the week. Regardless, viruses are horrendous. End of rant.

Other things I am thankful for this week: fleece owl pajamas, running hot water on demand and my loving best friend/bf. I take care of Firas 95% of the time. Cooking, cleaning and all that good stuff that I love to do for him, real talk. But being taken care of is quite enjoyable as well. He is really going to be an amazing husband and father some day.

Sometimes I get frustrated because I am an 'instant gratification' type of person, but we all must remember that good things come in time. Not everything is instant and hard work is also necessary. Being spoiled and never told no as a child catches up to me sometimes in these situations. I expect money to grow on trees and things to appear out of thin air. But like with everything else, it's a learning experience. Life is the most magical experience ever.

Past, present and future

The turn of another glorious year is a time to reflect on the past year, see where we've ended up now and plan out our goals for the next. We literally made 2012 our bitch and it was one of the best years we have had. For a majority of our relationship, Firas and I have been a bit... Lost? We just have been literally chillaxing and trying out new life avenues. Though this year, we have finally decided on put life path together. It's exhilarating, scary and the most awesome thing we'll ever do. It allows us to do what we want to do everyday for the rest of our lives. We have our vision planned out and were making moves, big ones.

At some point, everyone will feel this kind of clarity. You have to. If you don't, you're missing out out on so much. Allow yourself to feel it. Let go of the anxiety and the weariness of life. Embrace the energy around you and know you have the power to create any life you choose.

My 2013 resolution is to learn how to love Sundays.

Translation of vibration

Being able to see the miniature transparent crevices of your own brain and thoughts. Floating in soft wavy circles high above a rental car. Through sugar smoke stacks and hints of salt. Remembering our attire. I fade into the sky and earth but everything is so clear. The clarity is overwhelming. Not just of this moment but of my entire life. At peace. So much sense is made. Though my thoughts are in a earth sized ball of rubber bands, calmness and understanding is abundant. Small and big.

I miss Maui like crazy. The beach bumming, boogie boarding, sitting in our ridiculously comfortable beach chains in the sunshine, parasailing above Maui, midnight smoke seshes on the beach by ourselves, fish market sandwiches, sweetness in the air, incredible feelings all day. We'll be back Maui.

Hooray for Initiative 502 passing!

Love tank

Everyone has a love tank. It's made up of your expectations, desires and necessities. Having it filled daily with these things are what makes you happy and content in a relationship. Most people who are unhappy are not getting their love tank filled. People who do not get it filled go out looking for more satisfaction elsewhere. Probably why some people cheat. It's a simple principle to follow but maybe sometimes your expectations are simply impossible to meet. Everyone's levels are different and obviously people mesh in different ways but if there's an open line of communication about filling your love tank, it makes it that much easier.

Fortunately for Firas and I, we fill each others love tanks daily. It's a really awesome feeling. Even after almost 6 years together, we're the very best friends. We're closer than we've ever been and its amazing. Highly recommend opening a line of communication with your SO if things are rocky.

The Secret -- for those of you who have read the books or watched the movie, kudos to you. When Firas started watching it I was a skeptic. I mean, it's a really inspirational idea that a lot of people can turn their lives around with but I didn't really believe in the vision of things. Until it started happening! It would be small things that I would have little thoughts about and twice in last 2 days, it's happened. Kind of creeped me out but then I remembered that the universe gives back what you give it. It has literally changed my life.

I'm finally living the life that I've always wanted to live. Thanksgiving a few days ago reminded me of how many things in my life I am thankful for. I told every one of my family members why I was thankful for them. Appreciation is a really good feeling to give someone.

Hooooray for Maui on Wednesday. :D

RIP Sam III

It's been a while since I cried a lot. My Grandparents bought Sam for my brother and I about 13 years ago. He was just a tiny little poodle puppy. The last 2 poodles my Grandparents had were both named Sam so naturally, he was named Sam too. We have had our share of vacations with him and taking him places. He was a really good dog, minus the crazy barking whenever anyone would walk by the outside window. He loved spaghetti more than any other food, he would always have a spaghetti mustache after dinner. He loved to play fetch with his rope and sit next to Grandpa all day. It's my first encounter with death so close to me. And I'm sad, really sad. It was very much his time to go but I wasn't ready. I don't think anyone was. Especially my Grandparents because he was their BFF. Just seeing him lifeless broke my heart. But now he's in heaven because all dogs go to heaven. He's up there partying and eating spaghetti everyday. We love and miss you Sam. RIP under the apple tree, I'll think of you everyday.

Metanoia

“The winds that sometimes take something we love, are the same that bring us something we learn to love. Therefore we should not cry about something that was taken from us, but, yes, love what we have been given. Because what is really ours is never gone forever.”
― Bob Marley

Amen Bob Marley!

Besides everything physical we can see and touch, there is so much more out there. So many spiritual, mental and emotional experiences that can change you forever. Like the post title says, Metanoia. I first came along this term while listening to the song actually called Metanoia by MGMT. The song is very psychedelic sounding with some words but many that don't make obvious sense. It really sounds amazing. Metanoia is defined a few different ways; the Greek say its part of repentance while others say that it is the complete disassembly of your mind and conscious then reassembling it in a positive way. I feel like part of me has gone through this transformation in the last 6 months, deconstructing my thoughts and coming at them in a more positive different way. It has no doubt made me a happier person. Of course I still have a shitty day here and there but so much of life is perspective.

Moving on to the lighter stuff... Halloween is Wednesday but we partied already. I was a dark angel and Firas was Blake from Workaholics. We went out, got crazy and enjoyed ourselves very much. Maui is exactly 1 month from today and I am bouncing off the walls excited!

Though I don't know exactly what career path I want to take since I feel like I was born to be a wife and mother, I'm enjoying my time in between. :)